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I’m rubbish, I’ve failed! What to do if your child says this!

Hands up who’s heard these heartbreaking words? You’d not be alone. These days, there is so much pressure for children to be perfect, to ‘win’ all the time and be as good as everyone else at everything.

Sooner rather than later, insecurity rears its head and you’ve one unhappy child with zero confidence on your hands.

For most parents, it’s not the cry about failure that hurts. It’s them questioning their own self worth that’s truly worrying. Where has it come from and what can you do about it?

Who says you have to be perfect?

The pressure to achieve, to look good, to be popular, to be perfect is everywhere – across social media, TV, at school.

In primary schools, children are ranked against each other. There are top sets and bottom sets. Children move up to a high performing table – leaving other kids feeling they are not quite good enough. While others have to endure the shame of being moved down…

At secondary school, target grades are coming out of young people’s ears!

Hardly surprising that with all this competition and perfectionism, something has to give. Stress and anxiety are becoming far too common now…

The fact is, we can’t all achieve all of the time. In fact, it’s unhealthy to think that this is even possible. Yet, many children aren’t tuned into this thinking yet.

How to handle failure

  • Accept that failure is a normal part of life. While it’s disappointing to not do as well as expected, it’s not the end of the world. We’d go so far as to say that it’s critical that children learn to face life’s knocks.
  • Try to see failure as an opportunity. The old saying about ‘learning from your mistakes’ rings true every time. It’s important that children see that there is no shame in failing – and that in most cases it’s the only way to learn.
  • Accept that you can’t be good at everything. Few of us are! Some are better at scientific, mathematical subjects, while others are more creative and arty.

No wonder our fab tutors across Cheshire and Manchester are so successful. They help their tutees to accept that it’s OK to fail, praise them for trying, and then show them how to work through the steps to achievement. Not giving up is the real winner!!

If you are worried about your son or daughter’s results or their ability to cope with the pressure, or you want to boost their confidence before things slide, get in touch with our tuition team here at 121 Home Tutors.

Helping students through KS1 and 2, up to GCSEs, A levels and beyond, we’ve a cracking team of professionals ready to help.

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