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Archive for the ‘Mindfulness’ Category

I’m rubbish, I’ve failed! What to do if your child says this!

Wednesday, January 24th, 2018

Hands up who’s heard these heartbreaking words? You’d not be alone. These days, there is so much pressure for children to be perfect, to ‘win’ all the time and be as good as everyone else at everything.

Sooner rather than later, insecurity rears its head and you’ve one unhappy child with zero confidence on your hands.

For most parents, it’s not the cry about failure that hurts. It’s them questioning their own self worth that’s truly worrying. Where has it come from and what can you do about it?

Who says you have to be perfect?

The pressure to achieve, to look good, to be popular, to be perfect is everywhere – across social media, TV, at school.

In primary schools, children are ranked against each other. There are top sets and bottom sets. Children move up to a high performing table – leaving other kids feeling they are not quite good enough. While others have to endure the shame of being moved down…

At secondary school, target grades are coming out of young people’s ears!

Hardly surprising that with all this competition and perfectionism, something has to give. Stress and anxiety are becoming far too common now…

The fact is, we can’t all achieve all of the time. In fact, it’s unhealthy to think that this is even possible. Yet, many children aren’t tuned into this thinking yet.

How to handle failure

  • Accept that failure is a normal part of life. While it’s disappointing to not do as well as expected, it’s not the end of the world. We’d go so far as to say that it’s critical that children learn to face life’s knocks.
  • Try to see failure as an opportunity. The old saying about ‘learning from your mistakes’ rings true every time. It’s important that children see that there is no shame in failing – and that in most cases it’s the only way to learn.
  • Accept that you can’t be good at everything. Few of us are! Some are better at scientific, mathematical subjects, while others are more creative and arty.

No wonder our fab tutors across Cheshire and Manchester are so successful. They help their tutees to accept that it’s OK to fail, praise them for trying, and then show them how to work through the steps to achievement. Not giving up is the real winner!!

If you are worried about your son or daughter’s results or their ability to cope with the pressure, or you want to boost their confidence before things slide, get in touch with our tuition team here at 121 Home Tutors.

Helping students through KS1 and 2, up to GCSEs, A levels and beyond, we’ve a cracking team of professionals ready to help.

The Power of Praise

Friday, October 27th, 2017

When your child comes home devastated if they’ve done badly in a test, didn’t secure the ‘expected’ levels or has bombed in an end of term mock exam, the first reaction is often to panic.

If you find it bewildering how to help your child overcome disappointment, you’d not be alone. Some children don’t just ‘brush off’ a feeling of failure – and focus instead on the fail not the gain.

Praise, however, is something which can break down that wall of shame. And, over time, it can truly change your child’s thinking. Let’s look at one way you can help you child out of a dark hole:

Give specific praise

When I was a child, my teachers would often write ‘Good’ in exercise books, or ‘This is worrying’ without further comment. I was left wondering what was actually good, and – worse – the generic negative comments made me feel such a failure.

What would have helped? If you give your child specific feedback about an aspect of their work or attitude, they’ll feel as if they are still heading towards their goals.

Saying ‘You came up with some fantastic ideas there. Well done! Now let’s try to work on…’ you can praise something specific and build challenge into it.

Once they appreciate the mini achievements along the way, you’ll find them develop a more resilient mindset to disappointment. Mindfulness is something none of us should take lightly.

When to call in a private tutor?

Sometimes, children tumble backwards and end up in a stressed heap. You’ll spot there’s a problem when your child talks more negatively about school or him/herself.

With everyone busy and you having all the kids to manage, it can be hard to set aside time to go through your child’s schoolwork in depth. Plus, as many parents find, you might even feel a little out of your depth too…

Instead, a one to one tutor – who’s experienced at helping kids out of a jam – will help to turn things round so that your child can keep things in perspective.

Working with a private tutor also means they can cover tricky subjects in a safe space without other kids winding them up for being last in the class.

Get in touch with Alison and the 121 Home Tutors team today. With a terrific team of tutors across Manchester and Cheshire, we can help.


Is your child suffering from no confidence?

Monday, March 9th, 2015

It can be a real problem. Especially at school… In fact, here at 1-2-1 Home Tutors, we find it’s one of the biggest single factors which leads to children not doing as well as their peers.

Children can be masters of talking themselves out of something – or believing they can’t do it. Even if they haven’t articulated this to you in  words, a child resisting certain homework such as Maths or English is a sign that their confidence is low.

There are lots of reasons for this… Perhaps some of these might strike a chord with you?

    • A child’s confidence often plummets after an exam/test
    • Bullying can wipe out a child’s academic confidence
    • Lack of support or early intervention at primary school
    • A SLD might affect how a child sees a subject

You might hear phrases such as ‘I just don’t get it‘, ‘It’s boring’ or ‘I’m rubbish at it.’ Underlying this lack of confidence is a child find it hard to cope with failure.

That’s why it’s so important to help them bolster their self-esteem. And not let self-doubt blight their experience of education.

How to raise your child’s confidence

1. If a child doesn’t do as well as expected or is struggling with homework, praise their effort not the outcome.

2. Try not to react if your child seems to hate a specific subject homework. Instead, help them break down homework tasks into smaller steps.

3.  Add fun into a subject. Trips out to a Science museum etc can help children see a subject in a different way.

Of course, if you are still struggling to find ways to help your child, let us do it. We’ve a bunch of the nicest, experienced tutors across Manchester and Cheshire. Just call…

Mindfulness… Can it help my child cope better?

Monday, November 17th, 2014

Many children feel pressure to achieve when exams, tests and deadlines loom. On top of this, peer pressure and natural anxieties about growing up can put extra stress on children.

Plus, if your child has ADHD or is on the Autistic spectrum, there might be other difficulties added to the mix.

While ministers debate how to introduce mindfulness classes in schools, here are some fun activities to do at home to help your child cope better:

  • Get active! A healthy mind and active body go hand in hand. Restrict video game play to an hour a day, by encouraging kids to get physical. Try trampolining, swimming, art. Check out Kidsguide for some fantastic clubs, classes and sports in the Manchester/Cheshire area. Great way to burn off excess energy too…
  • Create a chill out zone. Build ‘quiet time’ into a school week, you’ll be amazed by the results. Rather than switch the TV or PS3 on all evening, spend 30 minutes doing simple things. Read snuggled up in a duvet, or star gaze. Download this BBC stargazing pack. These gentle activities help your child focus better – improving their ability to retain information.
  • Get creative! Kids love making stuff! Try these: create a mini vegetable patch in the back garden. Or give them some sheeting/old boards/wood to create their own den. Design a vehicle using wood, old wheels etc. Join a local recycling group for free materials!

Of course, your child’s confidence can affect their wellbeing. So if a subject at school is causing them grief, we’ve a lovely tutor here at 121 Home School Tutors to instantly boost their self-esteem. Just get in touch!