It’s so true: children often feel pigeonholed or stereotyped – noticeably at Secondary school.
- They are put into sets according to perceived ability
- Some sports/subjects are deemed boy or girl-friendly
- They have a SEND label or learning difficulty
- Term and end-of-year reports reinforce success and failure
Reports – interestingly – have changed beyond all recognition over the years.
Now it’s commonplace to receive a dry print-out during the year with a numerical assessment specific to that school. Often these confuse parents who remain clueless about exactly how their child is doing.
Or perhaps you have experienced such stark phrases as, ‘Below standard’ on your child’s report. Imagine your child reading that? How must it make them feel? A complete failure usually.
No wonder reports often get lost in schoolbags…
Children just want to be understood and accepted
We live in a world where children use phone apps to airbrush their photographs – just to feel ‘acceptable.’
Life, too, seems to be a popularity contest where people become famous for their looks – not because of their talent or personality.
The harsh reality is that school can be tough if you are different in some way. That sense of not belonging or being accepted can result in all sorts of problems…
Yet ironically we must celebrate differences. Children need to accept everyone – and themselves – for who they are. Except, children find it hard to like themselves when pigeonholed. And consequently underachieve.
How to help your wonderfully different child succeed
- Remind them that a SEND label isn’t a one-way ticket to failure. Besides, there are plenty of famous faces on the planet who just happen to have ASD, for example: Elon Musk, Bill Gates of Microsoft, Singer Susan Boyle. In history, where would we be without Einstein, Mozart and Steve Jobs? All autistic. All successful. All kept trying if they failed first.
- Teach them that failing is normal, and that none of us are perfect. In fact, the only way to learn is to fail. Help them work out what steps they need to take to move forward and they’ll build their resilience too. Our fantastic one-to-one tutors spend many lessons doing just this.
- Encourage your child to explore passions beyond the school gates whether it’s acting, horse riding or cooking. While academic subjects are undoubtedly important, so is developing their curiosity, social skills or practical abilities. Also, mixing with other children of different ages inspires confidence too. No stereotypes required!
Browse lots of other ideas here as well. More tips if you are wondering if your child is dyslexic…
Is private tuition the turnaround you need right now?
Many parents reach out to us here at 121 Home Tutors when their child has dug themselves into a hole, keeps struggling and doesn’t know how to fix the problem.
And when mental health or learning issues overwhelm, it can seem impossible to know what to do next.
Unlike teachers who simply can’t find time during a ridiculously busy day, a one-to-one tutor will have the time and space to help your son or daughter find a way forward.
Call us. We are here to help…
Tags: ASD, Dyslexia, learning issues, mental health issues, SEND support, social skills, underachieving at school