If you have a troubled teenager, you’ll know it.
Behaviour can be extreme: from stomping around the house and refusing to talk to avoiding family stuff or getting into trouble at school.
A rollercoaster ride that you can’t get off… at first.
And yes – they WILL drive you potty at some point, if you’re not there already.
Yet, the truth is, being a teenager is a tough gig for most young people as they fight their way through pesky hormones to discover:
- Who they really are
- Where they fit in and…
- What they want to do with their lives
Half the time, teenagers yearn to be accepted – to belong – at a critical time in their lives – and yet their actions can suggest otherwise.
What is Behind it All?
Every young person is different. In our experience, this list covers some of the reasons:
- Hormone surges (backed by science!!)
- Body changes/self-perception
- Emotional or mental health issues
- Life experiences/unsettled home life
- Bereavement/family break-ups/trauma
- School experiences such as bullying, anxiety
- Moving school/peer pressures
- Specific Learning issue
It can be especially frustrating when your teen won’t listen, closes themselves off or won’t share how they feel.
Unfortunately, parents are often in the first line of fire. It can be hard. Really hard.
As you might know, it can feel deflating when all you want to do is put a blanket of protection around them so that life never hurts them.
What Can You do To Calm the Waters?
You might temped to shout back, to exert total control, to punish relentlessly to get them back in line.
However, a too heavy-handed approach can backfire.
So long as your teenager isn’t putting themselves at risk, it can initially help to back off, stay calm and remind them that you are there to listen when they want.
Boundaries do matter, however.
Make it clear that while you will go to the moon and back to support them and that you understand their need to privacy/independence, that there must be boundaries to ensure that everyone is safe and happy.
Saying you’re here for a hug, and then walking away to get on with house stuff etc, can soothe an otherwise inflamed situation.
How to Achieve Study Breakthroughs Fast
If grades have plummeted, it might help to call in a professional tutor as teenagers infamously don’t want their parents to ‘help’ them with schoolwork.
What’s amazing is when you realise what a difference that someone from outside the situation can make in a short space of time.
That your troubled teenager can actually sit down and work one to one without getting feisty or moody.
We see this ALL the time, and how understanding tricky work from school can make for a calmer home life too.
Contact our fantastic tutor team right here to discuss how we can help you help your son or daughter move forwards. Just an email or phone-call away.
Extra help
Parenting is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Don’t forget that there are people out there ready to help you if it all gets too much.
Young Minds offer a friendly ear to parents. Family Lives is a great source of information too…
Extra reading if your teen lacks motivation. Make a brew and have a read…
Image courtesy of counselling-matters.org.uk
Tags: bereavement, emotional problems, friendship problems, hormones, mental health, punishment, specific learning problems, trauma